Archive for April, 2020


A Wonderful Woman

I saw a meme the other day that said ‘ask a man in your life to name a woman they admire and why’.  Well tonight I realised something about a very special woman in my life.

And no it isn’t my mother. Don’t get me wrong she was an amazing lady and I miss her so very much. In fact there are still days I sit and cry as I think on all the things she has missed out on, that my girls missed out on. Oh and as my husband reminded me, it had to be someone you’re not related to.

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But I digress.

Yesterday I had a very, incredibly average day at work. I was involved in something and me being me, I couldn’t stop overthinking about it.

When I finally got home, I still felt very unsettled and, if I’m to be honest – a little sick to my stomach.

See I find myself in a transition state where I am stepping into not only a new location but a new role, and everyone is telling me I’ve got this.

I’ve figured out something about myself, and that is I don’t really know how to back myself.

Again though I digress.

A woman whom I admire and why.

See I think it is important not just for men to acknowledge women they admire, but also for other women to lift up the women who mean something to us.

So here it is. Barbara Richardson – as she was when I met her.

She is amazing.

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What is my connection to her? She was my boss. But my husband pointed out tonight that I now consider her, in some way family.

I met Barbara when I was at a total quandary in my life. I had gone to the UK on a one way ticket, only to find the job I had, ripped away from me. Long story short, this wonderful lady ended up becoming my boss. I became her au pair. That is fancy speak for saying I was her nanny amongst other things.

This lady amazed me in more ways than I can say, and though I signed no confidentiality agreement, you really don’t need to know the details. Suffice to say there was something about her.

For no apparent reason that I really understand, this wonderful woman always encouraged and supported me. For example whilst other au pairs were run off their feet, she allowed me to follow my theatrical passion amongst other things. She also never, for reasons that even when I look back on our relationship make little sense, treated me as anything less than equal.

To the point then.

Last night, after this less than average day at work, I come home to find a comment on a FB post I had made. I had written about getting used to people looking at me as if I know the answer. Her response was, “Of course you know the answer! Why change the habit of a lifetime?”

For some reason that broke me, but not in a bad way. It was such unconditional support of who I am, that it floored me. I was her nanny for crying out loud, yet she has never been anything but super supportive.

In her life she had been incredibly successful in her chosen field, as well as a wonderful single mother. Somewhere in there she found the space to support and encourage a young woman in ways that still befuddle me.

It is many years later and her lovely son is grown, but we have stayed in touch.

However, I love her, she will always have a special place in my heart and I really felt that she should be acknowledged for the incredible lady she is.

And mostly I just wanted to thank her publicly for being one of the best people to ever have in your corner. The fact she is in mine is just amazing.

Thank you Barbara.

What A Time We Live In

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So my lovelies, isn’t this a swell time in which to exist.

Here is the thing though, just because the world is changing doesn’t mean we can go from living to existing. We can still live, we just need to be open to looking outside the parameters we were comfortable with.

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Sure as a writer and fairly confirmed introvert sort of person, much of my life hasn’t changed. I still exercise by myself. I still read by myself. I even still write by myself. Sure I have started a faith oriented project which can be found on our Your Tube channel here, or if you’re interested in supporting us, on Patreon here, but that was always going to be happening at this time because this, fortunately for me was when I was going to be on leave from my day job.

Also unlike so many I am fortunate that my job isn’t going anywhere, I am what were are calling essential services, though it may be a forgotten one. I am grateful for that.

I am also still able to write, so my main hobby hasn’t changed.

The only things I usually do that have changed are axe throwing and church. Well church I can still do on line but not being able to finishing the axe throwing league season has hurt.

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Still I’m here to focus on some good things, I think. We can use this time to our advantage, and what that is going to look like will be different for each of us. Some like me will get heads down and churn out words, managing to keep busy in a variety of ways, to the point where my loved ones have to remind me that it is alright to stop sometimes. Others will need to take time to stop and think, and remember to breathe. That is okay too. We all will deal with this situation differently, and as long as we are responsible then who cares how you deal.

I read a great post that reminded us that sometimes what we see isn’t the whole picture. The person could be buying paint because they need to keep busy to stop them picking up the bottle, when they are an addict. Or maybe she is buying meters of sewing supplies because creating stuff keeps the depression at bay.

Now is a time for considered actions, behaving according to the best advice of the experts, and reaching out to those we know and love. Reconnect if you have to. I know there are a few people I’ve thought of over the years that I sort of lost touch with and I am using this opportunity to swallow my ego and touch base.

Be here for yourself, and for others. We will get through this, and yes when we come out the other side things will be different but this isn’t the end, it is simply the cliff hanger at the end of book one, book two will be a whole new story.

Love you all, we will prevail.

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