We’re already well into 2022, in some ways I can’t believe it is February already but here we are.

Here’s the thing, I write a post and I often promise myself I’m going to be better at this, more regular with my updates and then I find out it’s been three months since my last post. Do you think I will get better at this?

I have to wonder I suppose if I was better at this, would I get more book sales? Would my author profile be better? The answer is I really don’t know. I wish it was as easy as some people make it look.

My time is taken up by 12 hour shifts in a really tough job and somehow I have managed to write the drafts for four books in the last 18 or so months, which is no mean feat, I’ll admit that. Writing though is only part of the battle and it is the bit I really like. It’s the promoting myself I’m not really any good at. I wish it was easier for me to yell ‘hey here I am my books are awesome,’ but it’s not.

I could do with a little luck truth be told. If only the right person saw and liked my stuff. I suppose that is the dream of many though, and some will be good and some not so good, added to which writing is a very subjective thing.

Sometimes it is so very hard to hold on to the dream of traditional publication. Yet there are times, especially when it seems hardest, that hope is one of the most important things to hold onto. We have to hope in order to keep moving forward.

So I hold on. It seems at times with the barest tips of my fingers.

I recently was fortunate enough to submit to a publisher and not be shut down immediately – always a good thing. But waiting is hard. You’d think after all this time I’d be better at it. I’m not. I know time is the key and no matter how much I would like answers on my timetable that isn’t how it works. And those who have my stuff on their desks have other priorities, though maybe one day that priority will be me, that day is not today.

I need to remember until the rejection comes, you haven’t been rejected.

My mind though likes to play a different tune and it is sometimes difficult to switch it off, or play something else loud enough to drown those negative thoughts out.

I still have a sliver of hope and there are times that is all we can hold onto.

Into this limbo land of hope I got a little good news. A little boost I had hoped for but not counted on. I was short listed in a short story fiction competition, over 13000 entries and just over 1000 short listed. It goes without saying I’d like to be one of the winners – for both the accolade and the prize money. It would be nice to earn a little from what I work so hard at.

So here I sit, at my keyboard, still holding on by my finger tips.