Category: Thoughts


Three Things

stock-footage-woman-holds-magnifier-and-puts-it-to-chin-against-sky-and-sun-720x340.jpg

A beautiful friend of mine has recently started a business pushing (sorry selling) make up. Now if you know much about me, you’ll know that make up is one of those things that is a very low priority in my life. I wear it on stage or for special occasions, I’m just too lazy to bother with that in my everyday. I’m not going to write here about my lack skill or disinterest in make up, what I am going to comment on is something I think is incredibly important – women’s self esteem.

Now my friend knows the women she has targeted, we’re nerdy, geeky and a few other fun descriptors, so she caters to that by running fun little competitions. Her interactive approach certainly dragged me in. But targeted marketing is not my topic.

What has driven me to write this post is one of the games she posted where it said: what would your warning label say and state three things you like about yourself. Can you guess which part sparked this blog post?

39c6ee3c692934c2ee03abca37abdcd3--crazy-women-random-thoughts.jpg

The warning part turned out to be easy. Everyone can have a little fun with that. Turns out though that writing publitlythree things you like about yourself is somewhat more difficult.

Part way through writing my three things I started to feel guilty that I hadn’t written down anything about being a wife/mother or family related. I don’t know if its’ just me or women in general but so much of our identity is derived from others, at least when talking in a public forum. My family are hugely important to me and I’m incredibly happy with my life for the most part. Sure there are always things that aren’t perfect, but what is a perfect life and why would i want it anyway when I am clearly not perfect. That may be a whole other thought stream though, so back to my current topic.

Unknown.jpeg

When I settled on my three things I’ll admit to being a little surprised that I could have written more, so I will use this opportunity to get into this a little more. This may seem a little self indulgent but it’s my post and I’m going to be unapologetic about it.

Things I like about myself:

My brain, it functions well. I read, think and love to learn.

My body, I have abs, I worked hard for them, I needed to as I’m in my 40’s, have had two kids and wasn’t blessed with a metabolism that means I can eat what I want. I am stronger and fitter now than i was in my skinnier, younger years. The problem is when I google my ideal weight, I am currently apparently over weight. Crap is what I say to that. If I got down to my ‘ideal’ weight, what I would lose is most of my muscle mass and I like being strong. Sure I wish the last o f my mummy tummy would go the heck away but I’m pretty damn proud of this body of mine otherwise.

As a person I’m proud of my determination, fierce loyalty and my work ethic. I am comfortable with the fact I am a complex creature who is basically an introvert. I love feeling capable and strong. I have a giggle when people say I’m scary and feel a little bemused when people call me inspiring. I enjoy my job, to the bemusement of most and I’m proud to say I’m a published author – though part of me is still a little disappointed I had to do it myself in the end. I know I don’t comfortably fit into the boxes society likes to use and I’m good with that. My friends are the ones who accept the many, sometimes broken layers, of who I am, abrasive edges and all.

Now to the point of this self indulgence. Introspection. It’s always good to acknowledge our strengths. Knowing what we like about ourselves can help us through the harder and darker moments of life, if we allow ourselves to embrace them.

This leads nicely to the second part of my thought process from that little game. Whilst the warning part was easy and many participated, more than a few didn’t write anything for this second part. I haven’t asked why this is but I do have a few speculations. When life isn’t perfect, or even good, it can be hard to see the positive to find the things we like. Most of us don’t like to toot our own trumpets because we are socially coerced into believing it is wrong, arrogant or something. Thirdly, sometimes we just don’t know how to answer that question, when taking a close look at ourselves it’s so much easier to see the flaws and things we don’t like.

images.jpeg

This is sad. Think about it. So much of what society pushes subliminally (and sometimes not that subtly) is that a successful woman is one who adheres to, or measures up against certain stereotypes and appearances. We are judged by how we fit into the boxes, not how we colour those boxes in. Women are still taught not to rock the boat, we still know that our success can be undercut by men – this is how Weinstein got away with what he did. We are shown pretty pictures and told, this is the ideal.

Well I’m going to call bullshit. Women are varied, and strong and flawed and more than capable in achieving whatever goals they set for themselves. Sometimes our own worst enemy is ourselves, we allow ourselves to quietly sit where society has placed us, we pick on other women who don’t fit that norm and thereby reinforce the crap. It is time we stopped doing that. It is time we embraced ourselves for the awesomeness  and individuality that is in all of us.

5563163.png

After all this my point simply is, finding three things about ourselves that we like shouldn’t be hard, and certainly admitting and embracing them shouldn’t be shied away from. i challenge you to look deeply into yourself. Look at your perceived flaws from a different perspective (I’m not bossy or a bitch, I’m organised and focused, I get shit done). Look at yourself in a positive light, examine the things that make you you. The sum of your parts, good bad, indifferent, is what makes you interesting. It is what makes you not fit the mould and proves you are no Stepford woman. Look at your body and be proud. Look at your achievements and what you do well and take satisfaction in them. Look at your personality and shout about how awesome you are.

EmilysQuotes.Com-Japanese-mend-gold-believe-suffer-pain-damage-history-past-beautiful-understanding-wisdom-Barbara-Bloom.jpg

There is an old Japanese custom where a broken item is repaired with gold, making it more beautiful because of it’s flaws. It is about time we allowed ourselves to embrace this.

I am flawed and I am awesome.

Shout it, believe it.

Advertisements

#MeToo

I nearly didn’t post that hash tag for a number of reasons but not because it wasn’t me. Mostly, or in a large part I would say it was because these days my version of calling you out is to dish what is thrown at me, right back at the person who dished it. You want to comment about my tits I will comment about your dick, or agree with you about how great they are and clearly let you know that they aren’t yours to play with and never will be, you get the idea. If you dish it out you’d better not whinge when I pitch it back. I do this because , at least in my mind, it levels the playing field and lets you know your words have no power over me. I will not as a general rule ignore it, I will not be quiet and let it ride with no rebuttal.

I want to break this down a little. I wasn’t a popular kid. I was teased a lot. I never really thought of it as bullying, but that’s what it was. In those days it was almost always verbal amongst girls or when you were a girl, things have changed a lot as far as that goes. As a result of that teasing I developed a coping mechanism – words. Often bigger words and smarter sentences so I could laugh to myself when the bullies responses missed the mark.

When I was younger the teasing was pretty universal, girls were as bad as the boys. As I got older girls/women somehow recognised their words had little effect or simply decided I wasn’t worth the effort. Boys/men seemed somewhat more oblivious or entitled. Even when I was married and watching my hubby at a gig, guys would approach me and ignore my words of ‘leave me alone’ and ‘I’m not interested’. One night I had to go as far as to tell the pest quite clearly that if he didn’t leave me alone I’d have the bouncers throw him out. His response was something along the lines of ‘bitch!’. I didn’t care about the insult, I owned it because I got what I wanted, to be left alone. The point is though that I shouldn’t have had to do that.

Here are just a few highlights of how this has affected me, it is by no means a complete or comprehensive list.

I was at work once when a co-worker put his hands on me, even after I told him I was happily married and not interested. I pushed him away and told him if he did it again I’d lay him out, or words to that effect, and I spent the rest of my shift making sure I was never alone with him. Again something I shouldn’t have had to do.

Working close in a bar one night, and a male patron tells a very heavily pregnant me, that he’d show me his dick if I let him get another drink. I’ve always wondered what the bouncer saw on my face that night because that patron was rushed out of the bar so quickly I don’t think he understood what was going on. A comment like that should never be acceptable.

Again working in a bar a young guy thought stalking me would be a fun idea. Nothing I said made a difference. What did make the difference was one of the men I worked with. He took him outside one night and five minutes later bought my stalker back in crying, to apologise to me. I never had another problem with that particular person.

As a little positive note, thank you for those men who have stood with me, or got out in front of me.

This kind of thing has been in my life from a very young age. I was incredibly fortunate, my mother paid attention. An off handed comment from me at about the age of 6 led my mother to believe my best friends brother had been inappropriate and she refused to allow me to be over at their place unsupervised. Personally I have no recollection of this but my mother certainly did.

When I started dating my now husband, his ‘best friend’ said to me ‘I won’t take you away from him’, like I was some object to be stolen without a will or a thought of my own. My response in this instance was to inform him I was in no way interested in him and if he tried I’d chew him up and spit him out before breakfast. What gave him the right. (As a little side note I believe I made him cry on possibly more than one occasion because of things he said or did.)

Harassment takes many forms and to my mind bullying and harassment has gotten so much worse since I was a kid. The things my eldest daughter has been subjected to make me so mad and so angry. Sexual harassment has been added into this. The things that some of the boys at school have said and done have meant I have told her that I will stand beside her all the way should she have to use physical means to defend herself or someone else. No it’s not ideal but I will not have her believing she has to sit back and take this crap.

My girls and I all do self-defence, the sheer number of women’s self-defence classes should let us know just how wide this problem stretches. I’ve even gone as far to walk my girls through certain senarios because I’m that concerned about this. My children should not have to know what to do in the event someone tries to attack or rape them. They shouldn’t come home and ask what to do when a boy touches them or makes a sexual comment to them.

I realise there are those who still hold onto the victim blaming culture. I can tell you that there have been times I’ve dressed to accentuate my assests, I do occasionally like to look good but that doesn’t equate to permission. When I was young I dressed that way because as a bullied and somewhat fractured young woman I was simultaneously wanting approval, and society taught me approval comes from sexual appreciation, whilst trying to wrest control of that from the men and boys, to put myself in the driver’s seat. It was to my mind, a variation of the word wall I spoke about in the beginning, it was a way of changing the balance of control.

We build the defences we can and we push a great majority of these things aside and just get on with life. We do this because hitting your head against a wall of those telling you it’s nothing, it doesn’t matter, or to just get over it, gets tiring, not to mention headache inducing. The point though is we shouldn’t have to.

I find it incredibly sad that it has taken the fall of a celebrity to give this movement so much power but by goodness we need to use this momentum while we can to affect the changes we are so desperately in need of. It starts in our homes, work places and schools. It starts across genders. It starts with women not sniping at each other and to stand united. It takes men to understand that, for every time you didn’t believe, didn’t step up for a woman in the multitude of situations you’ve seen, didn’t help when they asked, or dismissed their concerns, that it did damage.

I consider myself a strong woman who certainly knows how to fight her own battles. You know what though? It is tiring. There have been times I’ve wished I simply didn’t have to stand up to a guy whilst other men stood around enjoying the show or ignoring it completely.

We need to come together, the good, the light that is in humanity, I have to believe we can put our egos aside and stand, arm in arm, in the face of inequality (subtle harassment) and the more blatant extremes – words, actions, and all the variations in between, and stare it down. To say NO MORE. That behaviour is no longer acceptable.

United things can be changed, not the past but we can learn.

Social Media and Writers

OMG I can’t believe that happened.

e814cd_5831791.jpg

No this isn’t about Deadpool, by I needed a pic to show how some things make me feel.

Social media has made some amazing things possible. I was feeling frustrated and angry one day so I went to a writer whose work I love and asked for advice. Part of me didn’t expect a response but they got back to me, I may have squee’d. Today I thanked a writer for the gift their books gave me and they got back to me with thanks.

This post isn’t going to be about how to use social media to promote your author platform, this is about using it for interaction with others and how some authors do it right.

When I was growing up you could join fan clubs for popular kids books, you could even try to write to writers through publishers, there was no guarantee that your letter would get to them, though many did get responses.

Times have changed. Some say social media is bad, it causes isolation and negatively impacts people’s ability to interact one on one. Yes it can certainly do that. It can give you the feeling of interacting when in fact you are building a wall around the real you, a false persona to project to the world at large. It can also be a very useful tool.

When I was still involved in children’s bookselling, I used social media to connect to people in the publishing industry and authors. I built a network, and it is a network that still serves me well even though my career trajectory is very different and books (writing and reading) no longer provide my primary income.

Authors, or at least some, are quite willing to interact with readers.

With all the rigmarole that went on regarding my publisher I reached out one day to a favourite author. Now I was down and desperate, I just wanted to get it out of my system to someone who I thought would understand my frustration. Sure I hoped for a response but there was a part of me who realistically believed that would never happen. She did, and Tamora Pierce you have no idea what a boost it was to me to read your considered response of advice and encouragement.

I have favourite books, yes that is plural and I cannot nor would I want to, make that list down to one. One of these books is Kenny and the Dragon by Tony DiTerlizzi. I love this book so much I have an image from it inked onto my skin.

IMG_0807

I shared the above pic with Tony and he liked it. That wasn’t the only interaction I’ve had with him. One day I messaged saying I knew he sold prints of some of his work and I wondered if he could tell me where I might be able to buy one from Kenny. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine what would happen next. He asked me my address and sent me this ink sketch. It holds pride of place in my office. It to offers incredible inspiration, on those dark days I can look of it and hold onto the thought ‘never abandon imagination.’

BaD1Nh9CYAAq5oy.jpg-large

These are not my only interactions. Marianne DePierres had a small afternoon tea with some fans one afternoon that I was invited to, and I went out for a catch up with Michael Pryor when he was in town doing signings and school talks. Both of these authors were more than willing to listen and offer snippets of advice and encouragement.

Today I felt the need to thank Raymond E Feist. I was thinking of doing something really silly, and even as I thought of it I knew it was silly. Authors don’t really want you hitting them up on social media to read your book or promote your work. Think about it. What an imposition. It puts them in an awkward position. How do they let you down without in some way coming across as a dick? So I talked myself out of such a stupid action and instead thanked him for his influence on my life. He responded, immediately. I was kind of gobsmacked.

Here is the thing though. Here is where social media gets tricky. These people you look up to, do not know you. For the most part any way. Sometimes you get lucky and actually strike up a relationship, friendship or mentorship. Mostly though they are just words sent in response to something. Oh I wish I was friends with any number of these people but they have their lives and I have mine. I’d like to think though that knowing they have done something that has helped or been memorable to an aspiring author and fan, would be a positive thing.

 

Life is an Awfully Big Adventure

Well it is if you want it to be I suppose.
And I want it to be.
I love my family. I love my wacked out, crazy and at times surreal life. Of all things that could happen one of the things I would hate to become is boring.
Marilyn-Monroe-Quotes_02
Don’t get me wrong, some parts of my life are incredibly boring.
A writers life can be, at times, very solitary, even when you have a family and a full time job. I’m simply not much of one for going out and partying. I would much rather stay home and curl up with my hubby watching something, with my head stuck in a good book, or with a pen in hand and a notebook in front of me. I like it like this but others would find it boring.
Of course for me writing is anything but. Writing gives me the chance to escape into some amazing and fantastical places and situations. I also like to practically choreograph my fight sequences and I am blessed with a hubby who is more than happy to work on that stuff with me. On any random night we could be working out some unarmed combat, a knife fight or a sword fight. So I suppose it’s not always boring.
Unknown
Life though continues to be fun though. It can be exhausting and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I work in a high stress job and I play in the land of celebrity and pop culture.
Volunteering at SupaNova is an amazing thing for me. I have had the pleasure of meeting some wonderful actors and voice actors. I have some fun stories to tell. I have also been blessed to see fans meeting their favourite performers, it can be an incredibly touching thing. I would dare anyone to meet Peter Cullen (the voice of Optimus Prime and Eeyore), watch him with his fans and not become one yourself. I even now have a favourite dwarf. I have seen people cry and scream with delight. Say what you will about fan boys and girls but indulging in their fandom is an adventure for them and they will get the chance to say they have had moments of great joy.
It is also through this that I have made some incredible friends. In fact for me they have become very much another family to me. They get me, well bits of me that other people may not understand. That could be the key.
quotes68
In some ways many of us strive to be understood. We may say we want to be accepted but acceptance comes from understanding. Work people in my life understand parts of me, they allow me to be freer in regards to some parts of my personality than other work environments have. Let’s face it I do rather like the word ‘no’, and many jobs don’t like you using that word. Theatre people and Nova people understand the dramatic, and sometimes fangirly side of me. Of course people from both those sides accept the other side of me and it is that acceptance that really allows me to be free to enjoy the adventure in my life.
On nights like this I realise just how lucky I am. I wouldn’t say I have a lot of close friends but the ones I have are special. For those who have come into my life and who have opened their arms and accepted me, for all my quirks, moods and eccentricities, I thank you. As this year draws to an end and a new one begins, with the promise of some awesome new adventures, I look forward to sharing these with them.
tumblr_m09rsjBHNu1qzdvu8

Pic2So this week some things happened which left me heading to work for a very early start feeling rather crap and somewhat sleep deprived. We all probably have had this happen at some point. There are times things just don’t work in your favour.
Anyway, long story short I was inspecting a vehicle when I had the weirdest flash of inspiration. It came to me in a succession of images, starting with a garden gnome. Needless to say I stood next to the vehicle laughing at nothing visible much to the confusion of the person with me. I informed him of what was going on in my head and his response was to shake his own and say in a befuddled tone, ‘I want to know what drugs you are on.’
Going back to my desk the idea evolved and I was still laughing at myself and other co-workers came to the same drug influenced conclusion. The story evolved over the course of the afternoon and so I considered my sleep deprivation a bonus in the end, though I still find it strange as I have never written a horror story in my life cheesy or no.
I think the point I’m trying to make is that ideas can come from the strangest of places and in the most normal of situations, it is up to us as the writer to embrace these moments that most find nonsensical and turn them into something. The something we end up with doesn’t have to be any more than a way for us to write something different and thus energise ourselves for our current project. Of course if you can come up with something awesome from a random idea then I think that would be pretty great too.
Write whenever you get a moment.

New Directions

Pitcher Preparing to Pitch Ball
So this week bought with it one of those annoying curve balls.
Don’t you hate it when a sure thing becomes an impossibility. Or at least simply not going to happen at this time.
I do.
Thing is life goes on and you have a choice; you either let the crap dump all over you and beat you down or you scream and smash something then wash yourself off and start down a new path.
Me I think I’m just too damn stubborn to let the crap keep me down. I look at the steaming piles and have a tendency to shout at the world or no-one ‘is that all you’ve got! Well you’ll have to do better than that if you want to break me!’
So whilst reading something I’d started awhile ago I got an idea. A slight twist on an idea that’s simmering in the back of my mind. Well more of an addition really. I really want to do nothing more than stick my head down with a pen in my fingers and write for hours on end. The biggest problem with that is I’m tired and not really all that well. Also I have work, 5 days this week and 3 of those long ones (though one was because of family commitments). There is also the added complication of the curve ball, because that demands a lot of time now until this whole mess gets sorted out.
On the upside, when an idea is simmering in the back of your mind you are still creating. Characters are developing with every thought. Worlds are gaining dimensions and colours. Plots are twisting and layers are weaving over and through each other.
I want to write it but this story is not quite ready for that yet. Which is probably a good thing because I really just don’t have the time.
Oh and FYI I am still managing to work on my other project. Sometimes I wonder where I get the time, at least making progress only requires a few minutes to get a few sentences on paper.
A point worth remembering, progress can be measure in just the actions of a few moments.

My People

0xcastI had a meeting today for the upcoming SupaNova event. I’m volunteering this year because the person I was supposed to be working for is no longer able to make it over due to a sad string of events.
I thought I may know one person there today. A guy I’ve known for nearly 20 years now I come to think of it. He was there, we had the chance to have a brief hug. Then I found myself sitting next to someone I’d met at an author event over a year ago, so we got to chatting. In fact I inserted myself into a conversation she was having with someone else about NaNo before we made the connection.
That’s the thing though, I didn’t know anyone and yet I had some laughs, and some good convo about writing. Life is full of connections. You need to be open to them. At this time I’m thinking I’m going to be working a full week before the con and I’ll work all con so I’ll be pretty tired once it’s all over. I think it will be worth it though.
The con allows me to embrace that part of me that doesn’t really fit into work life. Don’t get my wrong, I love work, I often have quiet a laugh but the geeky part of me really has no place there. I can’t quote Firefly, Star Wars, or Labyrinth because no-one will know what I’m talking about. I’m okay with that though because the cheeky part of me gets plenty of workout.
princess bride 3
The geek part of me loves when it gets the chance to be let out. I love the chance to fan girl over tv actors/film actors and writers. I love being around people who know what I’m talking about if I say I’m doing NaNo this year. Or someone says ‘inconceivable’ and you reply ‘You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means’ and they laugh coz they know what you’re talking about.
We humans can often be made up of personality components but often we don’t feel comfortable revealing them to some people. It’s probably healthier though if we find ways to attend to all those aspects of ourselves. Me I have my cheeky/honest side that I can let out at work. That’s the side of me that can come out in the theatre too. I have my booky/geeky side that is seen by my friends and people who attend Cons and so on. And I have a fitness side that’s mostly kept to myself and my trainer (and those crazy few who are doing Tough Mudder with me). I also have a smoochy side that well that’s reserved for somewhere that’s not this blog.
What I’m trying to say is I think you probably get more out of life, or at least a little more happiness if you are honest with yourself about who you are. Don’t hide parts of yourself, find some way to bring them out to shine every now and then, it’s definitely worth it.

Addiction

images-2

I am an addict.

This is no surprise to those who know me, I believe I have rather an addictive personality. The thing is though the things I’m addicted to don’t cause harm. They do effect those around me, it would be hard to deny it when the books are overflowing off my bookshelves and there are piles of them on the floor and more delivered nearly every week.

I am a book addict. I was before I got into book retail but selling the damn things only opened me up to so many more authors. Fortunately part of my addiction is supplemented by the fact that I get books sent to me to review. I am so thankful for this for a couple of reasons. Firstly that it helps keep the costs down and secondly it introduces me to new authors. I love discovering someone new. 

Books aren’t my only thing I can spend hours gaming if I’m not careful. Also I feel rather out of sorts if I don’t exercise for any length of time (I’m not sure that’s really got much to do with addiction it’s probably more to do with my body doing all it can not to get old).

There are things I definitely am not addicted to though and housewifey things (dusting, cleaning, ironing) probably top that list.

I am also rather addicted to creating. That is to say I get a little bit touchy if I go too long without putting pen to paper or fingers to the keyboard.

I need to write. Sure I want to finish a few books, get them published and make some money from them but as that hasn’t happened yet the logical thing to assume is that I am addicted to creating. The only thing I get from it is the act itself. It makes me happy to write. There is a feeling of accomplishment even though no-one else probably sees it that way.

Do I wish there were more hours in the day to feed my addictions, hell yes. Sometimes it is a battle within myself as to which addiction wins out at any one time. I have a pile of books to read for both pleasure and review, I have thousands of words that need to be put to a page, and I have games to clock with and without my hubby playing.

Right now my need to communicate is being fed. I like to blog, I like to think I’m communicating with like minded people. It helps me to get things off my chest, it might help others who don’t feel so comfortable getting these things off their chests to know they aren’t alone.

I could of course be just putting words into the ether and you know what, that’s fine. In an ideal world my blogs would help me connect to those who might one day want to read my books. But the fact no-one much may be paying attention, well that’s not enough to make me stop blogging. I need to write across a variety of formats, this fulfils something in me. I feel much better if I get my different targets met. It is cathartic and it helps me become more focussed for my fiction writing. This stuff clears out the thoughts, the rants, the frustrations and gives me a clearer run at the worlds of fiction.

In my case addiction serves its purpose, apart from filling in my time when I’m not at work. I am ever so glad that my addiction is not a destructive one. 

Now all I need to do is figure out which parts of my day tomorrow will go to which addiction.

Scattered Thoughts

Boy these last 12 weeks have been trying. The study component for my new job has been at times draining, frustrating and just plain puzzling.

Then there was the play which finished last weekend. I really sighed with relief once the last show was over. It was a good experience but truthfully maybe it was a bit much to take on during the study, then again maybe it was a good thing to get out to force myself to be creative.

Now I have a little time. I only have two weeks of study left, well a day less than that and then I start the 6 mths on the job stuff. That will be full of it’s own challenges of that I have no doubt but I will have some more time to do the things I want – like write.

Of course I suddenly realised that I have to use a writers mentor thingie that my lovely hubby got me for christmas last year before it runs out. Arrrgh!!!

The complete structural rewrite hasn’t come anywhere near as far as I had hoped. I think though it will be a good thing and I think the timing will turn out to be perfect because I have finished the school part of things and will be able to leave work at work from now on. When you are studying and getting assessed/ tested you can’t leave your work behind, it has to come home with you. Believe me I am glad to be leaving that. It has crimped not only my writing but also my reading. Fortunately my main review blog hasn’t really suffered.

I actually finished two books this week and by the time tomorrow is over that number will be three – this is a huge thing and for some reason I feel really good about this, more at ease with things and I think, when I actually do think about it, that I feel a bit more balanced.

It is hard to believe that this time last year I was in the midst of NaNoWriMo, something I totally couldn’t have tackled this year. It was such an intense creative period for me. Now it is a good day if I get 50 words on paper that don’t have something to do with legislation or the like.

I am hoping that the forced time away will mean once I settle into the job and my shift roster that the creative will kick in and things will flow insanely.

Yeah I know but a girl can always hope can’t she?

I’m Back

It has been a while. Sometimes life just gets the best of you, between children’s parties, deaths, work, job hunting and the rest that is life (oh and the internet going down for over a week) time has some how gotten away from me.

But for now I’m back and I’m posting today because I don’t know if I’ll feel like it on saturday after working all day at Supernova.

Several things have been on my mind at the moment. The one that has me most frustrated is the 50 shades of grey thing. I have not read it and have no desire to read it and quite frankly I don’t understand the hype. I am worried that so many people (women in particular) are obsessed with an erotic fiction tale where a young innocent girl is seduced and dominated by an older, troubled man. Is this where we find ourselves after struggling so long for some semblance of equality?

Oh I get the titillation idea, I just don’t understand the appeal of a reluctant submissive female character in a BDSM story. Also so many people are buying it without any idea of what it is about…I don’t get that either.

But enough of that I get more than I want of it when I’m at work.

On a happier note, my writing is progressing very well. I was inspired the other day and started side project, just a little thing that will probably see life as an ebook. It may sound silly but the truth is any little bit of money I may be able to make will help and this is a good way to do it. I’m not a well known person so picking up a contract for a short format book is almost impossible but epublishing makes so much more possible. It’s an option I am more than willing to embrace.

The other thing to consider is that sometimes a side project is just the thing you need to inspire the flagging muse of a more long term project.

Right now though I wonder how much these words make sense because I have been constantly interrupted by my munchkins demanding half a dozen different things.

So right now I’m going again. My next blog will probably have something to do with Supernova and fan girl things because a weekend at a con is exactly what my inner fan girl needs right now.