Tag Archive: Creativity


So Many Thoughts

I have so many things spinning around in my head.

Some times it is so confusing in there. There are so many stories floating around at times. It’s difficult to focus on just one. So right now I’m working on a couple of things. First edit of book two is a current big red mess. Well the first 100 pages at any rate.

My other project I’ve not touched whilst I’ve been on leave. Instead I’ve worked on knitting and sewing projects. Creative is creative after all. I quite like doing creative things with my hands there is something incredibly satisfying in it. It is just something I don’t do very often anymore as I have so many things going on.

It can be a very full schedule when you’re a wife, mother, full time employee and a writer. Oh there is also my convention habit.

I love my life, mostly. I guess I just wish things would happen faster. I wish I was already published, I wish certain other things had gone my way and a few other things were different. Things that I don’t need the world to know but that would make my life a little easier.

Part of the problem with the internet is it is so easy to over share. I could complain about the things that have gone wrong, the problems I have, but ultimately what would be the point? Complaining online won’t solve my problems. It may be cathartic in the moment but what can it possibly achieve? It won’t fix anything, it won’t make anything go away. I don’t understand why people do it.

Whining doesn’t help in anyway. You know what does help? Getting on with life. Doing what you are good at. Fix your sights on the goal, pick yourself up out of your pity party and put one foot in front of the other. That is how you get to where you want to be.

Life for most of us is not about the quick fix, it is about the long journey. Sure there are lucky people in life, those for whom things come easy. For the rest of us we work at it. We take one step after another, stopping to recharge, refocus and step again towards that goal we hold so dear.

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A Little Break

So, writing is a slow process, unless I suppose you are a well known and already published author. A contract has 12 to 18 months on it and that’s if things go smoothly. Sometimes things don’t go smoothly.

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They haven’t for me. I wish they had. More than anything I wish they had. My life is busy and rough enough. There are times I just get tired of pushing, pressing and moving forward. Sometimes I just want to give up.

Thing is I know well enough that I can’t walk away. I’ve been a writer, an unpublished one, for a very long time. I used to sit at my parents dining room table with an old typewriter when I was about 13 or 14 and write up my first stories. Mostly they were mystery/adventure because thats what I read. When I got older I tried my hand at bad high school romance, with characters unlike any I read because I always identified with rougher girls, more troubled girls than I read about.

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I have always written. Writing is my outlet. Sometimes there are so many ideas that I can’t keep up. If I develop even half of those ideas I am going toe busy for a very long time. Problem is I write because I have to write but there is still part of me that really wants to share my stories but I’m not willing to give all those stories away. I did start publishing a couple of stories on line years ago, but I didn’t see it through and no one seemed to care.

Publishing is a difficult mistress. Writing is a cruel bitch to be enslaved to. But I am and I find I don’t mind it much, mostly. Sometimes though the frustration. You try to hold onto the highs but the time between them is so far it can be disheartening.

During one of those lows, when my publisher had things to work through, (life interferes most inconveniently at times) I had to walk away. I was getting irritated and frustrated because nothing was moving forward.

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Creatives can’t just stop being creative though, so I walked back to the theatre. I put on another persons clothes, hair and damn four inch heels and played make believe for a little while.

It was fun and exhausting. See a writer is in many ways a homebody, this writer particularly. Oh I love being on stage, it is an amazing, adrenaline filled experience. Some of those nights though, getting myself off my couch and out of my house was a drag. The reward though… the laughter, the camaraderie, the total shedding of self to play dress up as someone totally differently.

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I love being on stage. The wonderful side effect is now I feel energised and ready to write again. I’ve been able to put pen to paper on a couple of things and feel ready to push in to the bigger ones.

Sometimes you need to step away and reinvigorate the core of you.

No News is…

Writing is a fickle mistress at times. Mistress? Why mistress? Anyway, that little pondering is not for now.

So, no news is good news right? I don’t know, regardless, waiting is hard. I had hopes but I’ve managed to let go of those by now. What I haven’t let go of is my belief in myself. I believe my writing is good enough to sell. I believe my story is good enough that people will want to read it.

All of which is great, but that really isn’t why I write. I’ve already talked about this though. I write because I have to write. If I go for a longish period of time without writing I feel out of sorts. It may not make sense to anyone who isn’t a writer but it is something that just is and I’m good with that.

The problem with creative arts is that for all it is an isolating task, it also needs other people. I need people who can keep me focused, people who are happy for me to use them as sounding boards for some ideas. People who are prepared to read my work and be honest with me about it.

Also in my case I need a publisher, because for me I don’t know that I have the time to wade through the intricacies of self-publishing. I could never do anything without doing it properly and that takes time. The thing with a publisher is they have all these other things going on with them as well. It would be a wonderful thing for me if I could have someone focussed entirely on helping me achieve my goal but this is the real world. So things happen according to other people’s time frames.

I guess this is part of what being a grown up is, understanding that some things take time, and a little, or a lot, of patience. In the meantime I will keep writing, reading and creating.

 

Still Writing

Okay so book one is finished, with beta readers and hopefully my publisher, I’d like to say these things are set in stone but unfortunately I’ve been around various aspects of the creative industries to know that nothing is certain until it is actually out there in the hands of the consumers.

Oh believe me I want it to be done, I want the book published, I want people to buy it, read it and hopefully like it. I also want to get paid for it. Selfish of me I know. I write because I have to write. If I don’t write things feel out of whack. I will probably always write regardless. Is is too much to ask though to be paid for it? I hope not.

I had an argument with a young chap once about not paying for books, just reading pirated versions. I told him he was an arrogant, selfish toad (possibly in more colourful language) for expecting others to entertain him with no compensation. Problem is many feel that way. They don’t see the creative process for what it is, someone’s hard spent time for which they should be compensated.

I am not here today to get into a rant about this. Today is a brief update. Book one is finished, book two has a complete rough first draft and book three has elements to it already complete. For now that series is being walked away from as a delve into another idea. Oh I am so excited about this idea but that is all I can say at the moment. I have been involved in this industry long enough to know sometimes you are just better off not saying anything because so many don’t understand and the heartbreak of rejection is terrible. For now this will be my secret work in progress. I know the first series will likely be finished first, before this second one is properly given it’s wings.

Still I write because I must write.

Oh My Glob!!!

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Wow! I totally had no idea that I’d neglected this page for so long. That is simply terrible. For myself not so much for anyone else. This is my writing blog. The one that details my journey and, let’s be honest, my geeky stuff as well. If I can’t regularly add to this how am I going to manage when I’m published and needing to keep a profile as an author. Of course that is the hopefully vain part of me that dreams that someone will care. A girl has to dream right.

So.

Where did I leave things?

June Nova and a signed contract. Both great things. Now six months have passed and what has changed? Nothing and a whole heap. November bought another Nova tour. Yay!!! These events are my stress relief. They give me the chance to catch up with friends from around the country and shmoose with people I admire from various reactive pursuits and pretend they will remember me the following day. It’s okay I know they won’t but I’m a writer I spend a large amount of time living in a fantasy land.

12279208_10208499849113168_8893095336609938655_nYou may wonder though, how the chaos and busyness of a weekend convention, where I barely get to eat sometimes and grab pee breaks when I can find a minute, can be considered stress relief. Well when you have a day job that many would consider one of the most stressful out there, any kind of change is a relief. Plus I get fun stories and sometimes ever funner (it is a thing now) pics.

12305998_896270337135300_2107145663_nWriting takes up a chunk of my spare time. I have finished my first run though of book two. Even though my intention had been to step away from Evayn and her story for a while and work on something different. The story it seemed had other ideas. It simply would not let me go. I’m not sure whether that was because it was the most unformed part of the whole thing and I had a whole heap of world building to do, or because the characters weren’t ready for a holiday yet. Whatever the reason, the second act is now loosely formed and I’m happy with it.

Now I’ve finally been released to step away from them and have completed three short stories for a friend who wanted to collaborate on a project. The worst part of it all is I’ve written them and sent them off and now I’m waiting for a response. That as we all know is the worst part. What if he doesn’t like them? What if they really don’t fit his interpretation of the very loose parameters he gave me? What if?

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I’m not sure how much that matters though. Well it does and it doesn’t. See writing is really very complicated in it’s simplicity. Full of double meaning and both sides of coins. It matters in that I really do want him to like them. I want him to feel they are useful for the project. On the other hand though, I am really happy with the stories and have a special place in my heart for the characters I created. So yes,it does matter if he likes them, but also it doesn’t.

Confused yet? I probably am, but that is pretty normal for me.

Now those stories are doing what they will in the ether I have begun working on a different project. I’m finding it fun and interesting and not at all sure where it will take me story wise. I have an overall view of it in my head but it is very unformed. How it all shakes out in the end will, hopefully be a very interesting journey for me.

So I have finally done another post, hopefully with this new year, all its potential and all my plans (and a book launch baby!) I will maintain this page in a better manner than last year. That is about as close as I have come to any kind of New Years resolution.

Take care peeps. Enjoy your journey.

Ideas

It seems that whilst I’m focussed on this non-fiction thing, the back of my mind is totally elsewhere. My novel is very much churning around in there, so much so that I sat down to do my first computer version and the missing scenes just flowed. Then there is another idea floating around in the ether somewhere there that keeps popping up periodically, I almost grasp it and it floats away. I think it will become something but I’m not sure yet.
The thing that has been hanging at the forefront of my mind is money. Money has very little to do with being creative. It really doesn’t, unless you happen to be one of the lucky few. The truth is as much as I write for myself and because I simply can’t not write, I would like nothing more than to see my income supplemented by what I create. I have so many goals, so many things I want to get done, I try to focus I wish I could be more productive. I wish I could find that elusive ‘it’, whatever that happens to be, which would mean I go viral with some story. It’s a very possible thing in this day and age. Possible doesn’t mean likely though, but still a girl has got to dream.
Back in the real world though, I continue to write for me, because I have a story or three inside me that just needs to be told.

SupaNova ’13

Well it was most awesome.
That really sums it up.
I didn’t work the bookstall this year. Me I volunteered, I had thought maybe my experience in dealing with difficult people would mean I might get to be a PA, but that’s really the top, only experienced people get to do that. So I was pretty happy when I ended up working in the photo booth. I figured I’d get to see most of the celebs a bit and I was supposed to be able to get to two seminars.
Imagine my slight disappointment then when I discovered I would be so busy volunteering that I wouldn’t get to any seminars. However there was a big bonus right from the beginning. I really liked H, the lady running the photo booth. I thought right from the beginning that working with her would be huge amounts of fun.
Turns out I was right.
Conventions are great fun. They give me the chance to indulge the geek part of myself that is sometimes not really able to be let loose. I got to briefly meet one of my fav all time writers, Raymond E Feist.
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Also met Jay Kristoff and got him to sign my books – didn’t get a pic with him though and wish I’d had to think of asking for one.
Then of course was this:
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My teen self thoroughly geeked out at this:
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My Firefly fangirl loved this:
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And this:
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Then who doesn’t want to get strangled by a Princess:
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I also got a LOTR signature:
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So for a whole weekend I was around my own people. Shouting out instructions and trying to keep people moving and positive about the wait time. By the sunday I got applause and throat lozenges and even a song. I told a heap of people to breathe and saw more than a few tears.
I was fortunate to meet nearly all the stars. I got to speak to the Phelps twins, joke with the Merlin boys, get into a couple of group shots with the amazing guests and wonder if they had an over 6 foot height policy for the male guests (boy did I feel short), though there were a couple of a more normal height.
All up it was a flat out busy but great weekend. Made better by the fact I got to work with some awesome people – you totally know who you are guys. I am very much looking forward to next year.
Being a fangirl or a geek puts you in a community that seems rather accepting of certain eccentricities and for me that is a great thing. It means I can truly embrace the part of me that loves to escape reality and just hide elsewhere for a while.
Also being around that much positive energy and fandom is really refreshing for the creative soul at the core of me.
I love my SupaNova experience and now you all know it.
I am inspired.

Decisions

UnknownThis week I had to make a decision. I have been working so much, so many days. The problem with that is I just get so tired and brain numbed that it can be hard to write. If I only have one day off at a time or maybe even two then it can be hard to get more than a few hundred words down at any one time.
So this week, when a bunch of things came to a head I decided to take my name off the OT list. My dad isn’t well so I need to make sure I put some extra effort into that relationship. A friend went into hospital for an emergency C-Section and their baby has to stay in hospital for a while longer, now there isn’t much I can do for them except make sure we’re available if they need. My kids had a day off school so if I stayed home it would be an extra day with them. And an extra day makes a huge difference to the amount of words I get down.
In the end it wasn’t much of a decision a bit extra cash or quality time with family/friends and past times I love.
When you are a writer who actually has to work at a day job to pay the bills it can sometimes be hard to let go of a little extra money, even though you know your frustration levels, at lack of productivity, will probably rise.
It turns out it wasn’t such a hard choice to make.

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I’ve been really busy of late, mostly at work. 

Unfortunately life goes on and things intrude on the best laid plans. In my case; family, death, sickness and friendship. There are times the muse must be put aside and life must be seen to.

For a bit after my time off I managed to write quite consistently, but this last week and a bit it’s not gone according to plan so much.

Life though feeds us in a different way. If we are honest, even those of us who write fantasy are inspired by reality. It can sometimes be the little things that trigger amazing spurts of creativity.

Whilst I haven’t had much chance to work on my fantasy double I have had another idea that has been sitting in the melting pot that is my brain for quite a while.

It’s one of the things I love about being creative. You can’t always know where an idea will come from or where the seed will end up blooming. For me, a couple of very basic ideas have now gelled together and I have a concept for a whole other book.

Now if only I had time to get everything in my head out onto the page.

I Am Still Writing

10-Nonfiction-Writers-Tips-ImageThe flow is still flowing. It is a great feeling when you are in a place that means if you have a few spare minutes you can pick up a pen and write a few sentences. I guess for me this is where the fact I prefer to write on paper works.
I know many prefer to put it straight into a computer these days but me… well if you’ve followed this for a while you might already know I prefer to create on paper with pen in hand. I take a notebook with me almost everywhere. It is something I have done for, a long time. I couldn’t say when I started doing it but it’s definitely been that way on and off for a good many years.
Of course I have worked in jobs where the notebook stayed in my bag and I scribbled on scrap pieces of paper, it doesn’t look so good to carry a notebook around with you if you are supposed to be doing other things.
I’m tired from work at the moment because I did an OT shift so worked 4 days in a row and that does take it out of you when you are in my line of work. Thing is though I have 2 night shifts coming up so I will get some time to write then. How else do you stay awake all night basically on call. Last night shift I got 4 pages done in amongst everything else.
Part of me wishes I could just lock myself in my room for a couple of months straight and write. I want to get this done. I am driven to finish this. Sadly though, like many journeyman writers I have to work something else to pay my bills. Still I like my life at the moment and that is something that should never be taken for granted or underestimated. Sure there is stress but there is flow and when the creative is flowing so much else just slots into place.
Happy creating.