Tag Archive: Passion


 

In-Love-with-a-Fictional-Character.pngThis is something I have done since I first began to devour books. When I was younger I wanted to be George from the Famous Five.

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When I was about twelve I had a huge crush on Atreyu from The Never Ending Story, I balled my eyes out when Artax died in the Swamp of Sorrows.

0133735_42657_MC_Tx360.jpgLater various characters from Feist’s Midkemia filled my imagination. And who wouldn’t want Reilly’s Scarecrow to be their significant other or at least friend. I was never the sort to be swept off my feet by Mr Darcy and the love I felt for characters was mostly familial. I wanted them to be my friends. When I lacked friends in the real world I never lacked for them in my imagination. I would retreat from the teasing and hurt by venturing into other worlds;

Narnia, Crabapple Farm, River Heights, Kirrin Island, Ancient Egypt and the list goes on. I went on adventures with Pug and Thomas, Reepicheep, Tasslehoff Burfoot, solved mysteries with Nancy and Trixie.

Nancy-Drew-vintage-image.jpgAs I got older my tastes changed, but how I read and why I read didn’t. Mother would be a great laugh to hang with, in fact an afternoon spent with Eve and Roarke, Mother, Mercy, Adam and various surrounding players would be my idea of wonderful. On another day, Beka Cooper, Keladry, Annabeth, Caroline and I could all sit down over a civilised cheesecake and chocolate and right all the wrongs in the world, what a glorious day that would be.

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It’s okay if you don’t know a lot of these names that’s your loss, but then you may have a list of names I wouldn’t recognise and that is fine too. Just like in real life we all like different people, so we are all drawn to different characters and stories.

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Characters fill my head, mine and others. I often find them easier to relate to, less likely to cause me grief in any way. It was in these characters that I found acceptance to be me, as silly as it may sound. If girls, and women, such as these, who don’t comfortably fit into a mould, can have friends, family and success, then maybe I could as well. I never felt I fit, not really, but I did with my fictional friends.

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Writing my own stories in some ways has been an extension of this love affair. I never set out to write Evayn as she is now, as the character she is becoming (see what I did there?) She started in fact as what my husband lovingly, or laughingly, referred to as, my naked amnesia chick. Holy heck she has come a long way. (There may be spoilers ahead but only little ones.) Now I know her so well I know when she will roll her eyes, bite her lip or bottle up all that is bothering her. I know that holding steel in her hand calms her and helps her think. I know the dragon in her confuses her and she struggles to embrace that fully, in a way she never struggled with that she inherited from her father. I know her dark places. I’ve been there with her and want nothing more than to be with her at the end of this adventure we are going on.

There are many characters in this world I’ve created whom I’ve become attached to. Some I’ve shed tears over and others I want to slap, I hope that means I’ve done a good job with them because those are the feelings I get when I deal with real people.

Reading led me to writing. Reading has always been a central part of who I am. For me it is something that provides a break to life and all the crap that can be found in it. I willingly say I rarely read non-fiction or literary work. I read to escape not to be reminded of that which actually surround me. Reading has given me people to love and despise without the need to actually interact with people, (and I am a person that a sometimes struggles with being around people). It is also a refuge and that is part of the end result of falling in love with a world and its characters. I have read some books over and over and yes even over (sometimes to the point of the book falling apart). Those books are my safe place to go. There are times when I want to close out the rest of the world and curl up with an old friend, it is like a safety blanket, warm, cuddly and comfortable. Safe.

As a writer I want to write a story people like, a character people love and if I can create a world that people want to return to then that would be my idea of success.

Though lots of book sales would also be an acceptable definition.

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Still Writing

Okay so book one is finished, with beta readers and hopefully my publisher, I’d like to say these things are set in stone but unfortunately I’ve been around various aspects of the creative industries to know that nothing is certain until it is actually out there in the hands of the consumers.

Oh believe me I want it to be done, I want the book published, I want people to buy it, read it and hopefully like it. I also want to get paid for it. Selfish of me I know. I write because I have to write. If I don’t write things feel out of whack. I will probably always write regardless. Is is too much to ask though to be paid for it? I hope not.

I had an argument with a young chap once about not paying for books, just reading pirated versions. I told him he was an arrogant, selfish toad (possibly in more colourful language) for expecting others to entertain him with no compensation. Problem is many feel that way. They don’t see the creative process for what it is, someone’s hard spent time for which they should be compensated.

I am not here today to get into a rant about this. Today is a brief update. Book one is finished, book two has a complete rough first draft and book three has elements to it already complete. For now that series is being walked away from as a delve into another idea. Oh I am so excited about this idea but that is all I can say at the moment. I have been involved in this industry long enough to know sometimes you are just better off not saying anything because so many don’t understand and the heartbreak of rejection is terrible. For now this will be my secret work in progress. I know the first series will likely be finished first, before this second one is properly given it’s wings.

Still I write because I must write.

Long Past Due

So SupaNova was weeks ago and I said I’d write about but somehow I got to here and I haven’t done.
I have been so busy with my writing. Which is a good thing believe me.
Anyway.
The June ‘Nova tour was awesome. It was always going to be, I can’t tell you how many of us were so excited when John Barrowman announced that he was coming. That was a huge draw card, Stan Lee was big for Sydney and that was one reason for me to do the double but seriously John Barrowman was in my top 5 of all time, celebs that I wanted to meet. Was it worth it…
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What do you think?
Seriously though try these for size:IMG_0947

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Yeah I know awesome right!!!

It wasn’t all Barrowman, there were plenty of other awesome people.
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Then there were my Perth pics:
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Of course these people were only part of the reason that ‘Nova is such a big thing for me, the real reason is these guys
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For me ‘Nova has become a group of people I catch up with several times a year, who I have a bunch in common with. They are people who accept that part of me that embraces the fantastical, that wanders through the make believe. I love my weekends with these people.
The best bit is it fuels me.
As a writer there are ebbs and flows in the process. I suppose when you’re a published author you have deadlines to keep you in line. When you’re like me and just working towards that goal there are only self imposed deadlines. And to an extent they work. It can be hard to constantly be self-motivated though and we all need things in our lives that refresh, reinvigorate us. For me acting and ‘Nova fill that roll, though it’s been too long since I’ve been on stage. At the moment I’m refreshed and part of that is to do with ‘Nova, another part is to do with the fact that someone really likes what I’ve written so far and sometimes a positive word is all it takes to ignite a fire under your butt.

Thank you everyone from ‘Nova you are awesome and I hope you know it.

What The Hell

So I keep meaning to post, every Saturday was my goal. Then when I started working shift work I was aiming for once a week and somehow it looks like I skipped an entire month here.
So I repeat, what the hell happened to the weeks?
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Anyway the upside is the writing has been going awesomely well. I practically get something done everyday, whether it be words on a page, a screen or editing. The book is shaping up nicely. I am totally loving my characters, and the story.
You know one of my favourite things is when my story surprises me, or a character does. Over the course of this writing push I’ve had characters I thought would only be brief appearances pop their hands up and make me realise their part is much bigger than I first envisaged.
I long to share my book with people, but I know it isn’t ready yet. I know I have a long road to still travel and you know what, I don’t care. I want it to be good when I get to share it. I want people to love it like I do.
I have a catch up with a publisher next week.
Yeah, you get that, I just had to throw that in somewhere. It may not mean anything, it may mean something.
I sent a message to this publisher, who had asked for a sample of my work and he hadn’t got back to me yet. Now this makes any writer stress, but I’m watching the company on line and it’s so busy at the moment, I certainly can’t begrudge him getting back to me. If I need to be massaged and propped up every step of the way I really am in the wrong business. So as it was a personal contact that got me through the door I tried the personal touch again. I sent an email asking if he was going to be at an event I will be attending. He got back to me the next day (which if you bear in mind I sent it around 11pm one night that’s almost straight away right?) He said he’d love to catch up. That’s a good thing, isn’t it? If he wanted to brush me off he’d have said ‘if you get a chance drop by’, or something equally nice.
Oh hell, it’s hard not to read too much into things at times.
Anyway, I have as many things crossed as I can, but not my eyes coz then I’d probably end up having an accident of some sort and that’s the last thing I need.
As always I’ll keep writing and let you know if there’s anything good to share, make that when there is something good to share.

It Begins

I am on leave…
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I have 6 glorious weeks off in which I can pursue those things that sometimes get lost in the need to work and stuff.
I plan on doing a whole lot of reading and a whole lot more of writing. It is an awesome feeling to know I have time to do those things which are most passionate to me.
The best thing about all of this is I have already started. I have finished a really good book, in fact I’ve gotten through a few recently and am starting to get my reading mojo back.
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This is a good thing as I have many books still to read and many more that I haven’t yet purchased (just give me time).
On this my second day of vacation I have managed to plonk myself down at my desk (having booted my munchkins off it momentarily) and gotten more than a few words down. Also a really good thing. Though I think I may need to invest in this shirt.
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Having all the good intentions in the world and being pushing along by the fact that it is NaNoWriMo (even though I’m not actively participating this year) is still only part of it. My problem is I possibly have too many projects to work on. I need to focus myself far more tightly if I am really going to achieve anything in this time off.
So head down bum up, pen in hand or fingers on the keyboard.
Just let me tidy my desk first.

Muse

I got my assessment back last sunday night or monday night I think and in amongst all the bad stuff that you expect there were a few little surprises. My assessor said I’d created a wonderful world, and characters and she would like to see my book on the shelves. Also she gave me the name of an appropriate publisher when I was done.

So now I have lots of work to do, mostly because now I know what the problem is I know I have a major re-write, nothing that making one book into two doesn’t fix though.

The really good news is that the muse has been speaking to me, she has been sining sweetly into my ear and I wish I hadn’t had to have gone to work. This is all good though because my blood is up and it’s flowing fast and wonderfully. It is such a good feeling to be so motivated again.

So now it’s time again for heads down and butts up. Of course there is christmas and family stuff as well as work that will interfere but I can live with that. I’m writing again.

Viva Long Weekend

I have loved this weekend. The extra day made so much difference. I got some reviews done, finished the video for the Book Club and most importantly – sorted out my writing notebooks. This may not seem like much but believe me it is. When I was at Borders I kept a notebook behind the register but truthfully didn’t write much when I was working because I was usually out on the floor. Even when I was at reg there was something for me to do. Now however I do at least an hour every day on reg and have nothing to do for the most part. So in order to not go loopy I scribble notes. I have done a few scenes for three different projects, and that is what I collated. I separated them out found the different notebooks for the projects, even put titles on the outside.

Holy moly I got a little organised.

Oh I also sent my manuscript off for assessment.

Then of course reality came back and I realised it’s sunday night which means monday tomorrow, which means work. At least I might get some more scenes written.

Also I am debating the merits of signing up for NaNoWriMo.

I know I’m really, really busy but my writing has slipped a bit and I am thinking this might be a way to kick start that part of my creativity.

It is no secret that in my ideal world I could work from home – writing/blogging and generally just not having to be at a outside ‘job’.

Sometimes following your passion just isn’t as glam as it seems, sometimes there is a lot of work to do before you get to where you want to be. Then again most people never see the work they just see the end result.

 

Way-hey!

What a week.

Firstly two books by two awesome authors – Rick Riordan’s new Olympus book (yes for work and pleasure this one) and the new Scarecrow by Mat Reilly. Holy hannah awesome, adrenalin pumping, life escaping, reading. Love, Love, Love.

Also a new idea has been dribbling out onto paper. Only a few sentences here and there but still.

This is not where this week ends. Today I spent the better part of the day on set for a short film. And I had the best day. I only really knew the director and yet I felt welcome and it felt so right being there. Yes filming is a lot of standing around, unless you are the two girls fighting today, but it was so good being there. There are people who think films are glamorous and so on, they are the ones who don’t know things like I was sewn, taped and pinned into my awesome dress, but I still had a great day.

The thing is, with so many attempts at making something in the creative pay off I’d hit the end of my energy. Or so I thought. And today, well it grabbed me by the throat, shook me hard and said, ‘you really don’t want to be here?’ The answer is – ‘hell yes I do want to be here’. Tonight I am energised, focussed and really, really wanting to get back onto set again.

I want to act again.

So now I am sitting here with a glass of wine, some chocolate and passion flowing through my veins. There are two things I want to do act and write, actually three, I have an idea that I hope will inspire more kids to read more authors. And I feel great.

I’m sure you noticed there was no mention of work in this post…there’s a reason for that and I have a feeling tomorrow night, before I have to go back to normal work, will be pretty tough. Still life goes on and I’m certainly not out of it yet.

 

Hope

While I have been focussing on my kid’s site and working on my YA novel, I have been battling a feeling of rejection and failure. I still believe in myself. I still believe I can do it. I am still very passionate about writing. The thing is more and more authors are getting published younger, or at least it seems that way. So far my writing has gained ‘we like it but not enough to do anything with’, responses.

Well in the words of  Jason Nesmith ‘Never give up, never surrender’.

In honour of that concept here is a little article that gives me the faith to continue and know there is always hope.